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Wanted: Sarnies

Disaster averted at the last moment as crisis hits Sessionseekers

Atherstone Seconds were plunged into crisis towards the end of the 2000 season, a leaked memo has revealed. Despite the outward show of strength and unity, the team were on the verge of collapse when one of it’s key members was unable to eat at tea against Birmingham side Pickwick Post and Mail.

Veteran Stan Riley has played more seasons than most players care to remember, but the club stalwart very nearly didn’t appear after tea due to a shortage of food. Sleek Riley has kept at the top of of his game for nearly thirty years by keeping to a strict diet of sandwiches. Only plain cheese or plain ham will do for the experienced off-spinner, but when he arrived at the dinner table, to his dismay, there was only tuna and cucumber or egg salad.

With Riley totally devoid of energy, worried team-mates searched frantically to satisfy the great man’s dietary requirements and a full ten minutes elapsed before young Alan Miller found a plain ham sandwich. Unfortunately, it was on brown bread which Riley cannot eat due to the strict rules imposed on his carefully managed health regime. With time running out, some players resorted to begging the opposition to part with their fare as Riley by now was beginning to lose consciousness.

Eventually, after an impromptu visit to Aldi, a sandwich that Riley could eat was cobbled together and was gobbled up just in time for Atherstone to field. Luckily, this allowed him to get back to normal as his four overs went for 37 runs and two simple catches were spilled, a major crisis successfully avoided.