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Stan "Mushtaq" Riley
 REAL
NAME: Martin Riley
NICKNAMES: Stan,
Mushroom Man, Mushtaq, Frank Carson
DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Two
fat white tits
WEIGHT: Super-heavy
ROLE: Spinner,
batsman, slip fielder, barman - basically anything that requires
minimal athletic input
FAVOURITE ROLL: Plain
cheese or plain ham
YOU ARE VIRTUALLY AN ALCOHOLIC BUT OF THE FIVE RILEYS
TO HAVE PLAYED CRICKET AT ATHERSTONE, YOU ARE ONLY THE THIRD BEST DRINKER,
HOW DOES THIS MAKE YOU FEEL? Determined to drink more
SPORTS OUTSIDE OF CRICKET: Chess,
dominos, cribbage - dabbled in football but it involved running
IF YOU COULD HAVE THREE WISHES, WHAT WOULD YOU WISH FOR? Lager,
Embassy and a Giro
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