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Steve Sperry

Name: What’s it got to do with you?

Age: 33

Role: First team captain, batsman, fast bowler

A bit of an all-rounder then? Are you insinuating that I am gay? I mean, I’d rather you told me to my face. No, no. I meant that you can bat as well as bowl. Listen pal, I used to be in the raff and I know what you said. Its like saying that I bend as well as send – well you can take it from me now, I am Andy Robinson from Griff and I’m not homosexual.

Favourite drink: Are you suggesting that I can’t hold my ale – if you’ve got some kind of a problem, I’d rather you just came out and said it.

Favourite football team: Derby.

The Rams? Are you trying to say that I am some kind of sheep-shagger?

What bought you to Atherstone? I kept getting injured - I would regularly beat myself into a pulp after matches as after two years I had run out of team-mates to fight with. I damaged my hand quite badly once punching someone in the face for looking at me all funny.

Another cricketer? No, my own reflection in the bathroom mirror.

Are you looking forward to playing your old team Nuneaton this year? Is this some sort of witch-hunt – now you are saying that I used to bat for the other side. I’ve got half a mind to take you outside and ram this kit bag up your arse.

Job outside of cricket? Fireman – why? Are you going to try and humiliate me because of that? Well I’d like to see you try.

Likes: Fighting, arguing, being angry.

Dislikes: Everything else.

Best cricketing memory? Look, what is your problem? Have you got some kind of obsession with me. I beginning to think you’re a bit the other way, you know. I mean, you keep asking me all these personal questions – if you’ve got a problem why don’t you just come out and say it?

It’s just for a player profile for the website, Sir. Ha ha! Well why didn’t you say then, I’d got you down as some kind of shirt-lifter.

I did explain but you didn’t listen. You f***ing bent twat – SMACK!