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Mat “Robidoux” Jones
 Name:
Matthew Jones
Age: 25
Height: Six foot five
Weight: 8 stone
Drinking weight: Bantam
Nicknames: Robidoux, Chicken, Jonah, Mr.Punch, Jimmy Hill, Ailsa, Screech
Role: Wicket-keeper, batsman, joke bowler
Job outside cricket: Snooker
player (trickshot champion)
Job outside snooker: Football pundit
Job outside football: Actress in Home and Away
Job outside Home and Away: Puppet for children’s entertainer
Job outside of this: Hen
Size of chest: 32 inches (33” expanded)
Length of penis: 3 inches (4” with ring)
Tattoos: I went for one but the needle went straight through my arm
and out the other side
Hero: Mr. Burns from The Simpsons
How do you relax?: I go to McDonald's every day
and I bet on dogs through my brother William
(Hill). I like
eating
generally
and
going to the gym.
Pet hates: Paying money, getting out at cricket,
alcohol, losing, having to turn cock through
90 degrees when
urinating, bookies,
Coventry City, Mowgli
from the
Jungle Book, Australians
Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?: In prison
Is it true that you tried to join the police force
but failed?: Yes, I was fine but I just could not
jump through
this flaming
hoop, but
I didn’t like my handler
much anyway.
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