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Hadley Sadly Doing Badly

A sessionseeker was rushed into hospital last night and was still undergoing tests after a bizarre incident in The Gate Inn at Ratcliffe Culey.

Onlookers were shocked as cheery landlord and former stand-up comic Justin Hadley smiled and then wished diners at the pub well. "We immediately called for an ambulance" said co-owner of the pub, Mrs. Pastry. "Something was clearly seriously wrong. Justin has never said anything nice to anyone and it is unheard of for him to smile except for when he is watching film clips of police brutality in 1980's South Africa."

Apparently, the charm-school drop-out smiled at Charlie and Elaine Peters who had earlier purchased and consumed a three course dinner to celebrate their wedding anniversary. On leaving the pub, onlookers stood shell-shocked as he actually said " Thanks for coming - all the best now!" to the stunned pair. Ray Faulkner joined Hadley in the ambulance and was still in hospital this morning, being treated for shock.

Hadley is famed for his scything critiques on all aspects of life and general negativity, but this moment of pleasantness came like a bolt from the blue. Pub regular John Kimberley commented "Something is majorly wrong. It is just so out of character for him to be like this. When he said those words, you could have heard a pin drop. Naturally we are all very concerned for him and wish him all the best!"

Hopes of the miserable stalwart making a full recovery were given a boost when he allegedly told a nurse working the late shift that his dinner "wasn't fit for a starving pig", and that she ought to "stop eating all the food herself as she could do with losing a few stone" chuntering under his breath that she was a disgrace to the word munter.