Ever wondered what the hell folk at Atherstone C.C. are gibbering on about? In this ad-hoc series of terminology, we try to help explain those phrases, words and sayings that mean little or nothing at all to normal people. Learn all this and you are well on the way to being a bona fide member of the club…
Acorn
City
Fine levied when a player refuses to have a shower, so-called because of the
implied similarity between that player's genitalia and the fruit of oak trees.
Arrows
Acknowledgement of a stunningly accurate observation, derived from throwing
good darts.
Ayrton
Senna
(Rhym. Slang) A ten pound note.
Bagpuss
Worst fielder of the day, so-called because of the identical athletic prowess
of the 70's saggy old cloth cat.
Bay
of Plenty
(Rhym. Slang) A twenty pound note.
Beverage
Beer, ale, alcoholic drink.
Beverage
House
Public House, Inn.
Beveraged
Drunk.
Cam
Orn
Spoken in a South African accent and used in a desperate attempt to persuade
someone to do something they clearly do not wish to do. Origins
are from Christo Feris's numerous late night phone calls requesting lifts back
from the pub or trying to persuade a team mate to engage in one final game on
the Playstation despite it being 3 o'clock in the morning with that person having
to go to work in four hours time.
Chunder
(1)
To vomit. (2) Sick.
Coin
Money.
Coinage
Money.
Conkies
The White Horse, Atherstone.
COME
ON!
Phrase shouted randomly by players to attract a laugh and frighten strangers.
Cow
merchant
Player with tendency to use the agricultural hoyk shot during a game of cricket.
Dabs
Money.
Dabbed
up
To be in possession of much money.
Deep-sea
diver
(Rhym. Slang) A five pound note.
Dennis
(1)
The personification of human excrement; poo, mud, a plop. From phrase coined
by Cakey "I've got Dennis", shortened form of Dennis Dump. (2) Name
of one of Tesco's hamsters, now deceased.
Derek
(Rhym. Slang) Guinness. From West Brom midfielder Derek McInnes.
Deserved
Sarcastic term used to describe a nice looking girl going out with a poorly
matched, often lesser chap. Shortened form of "She's really deserved to
end up with that person" - A Batesism of the 20th century.
Dinner
rosters
(Rhym. Slang) Foster's.
Dirtbox
Bottom.
Distance
skin
Same
as skin but done over a further distance where hand contact
is not possible.
Dolly
An
easy catch that was dropped.
Don't
pretend like you ain't youth
Immortal words spoken by Tommy during a Sunday game when trying to ridicule
a fellow player for poor wicket-keeping.
Duty
(1) from the verb, being on duty means that socialising cannot occur due to
need to put in a stint with one's girlfriend/wife/partner. (2) noun Girlfriend/wife/partner.
Fielded-duh!
Utterance of praise to a fellow player in light of an exceptionally good piece
of fielding. May also be used sarcastically for poor fielding.
Fines
Committee
Group of Seekers established to oversee correct drinking procedures are adhered
to during the cricket season, and to administer appropriate punishment where
necessary to those straying outside of the regulations. Also responsible for
fining players after matches for indiscretions such as dropping catches, not
showering and anything else deemed fine-worthy in order to get a pound's worth.
Fizzog
Face.
Forsyth
(Rhym. Slang) lager, as in Forsyth Saga.
Frothblowing
Variation on the verb to drink.
Full
Sack
Phrase used to describe the state of the testicles between long periods of sexual
abstinence.
Gary
(Rhym. Slang) Bitter as in Gary Glitter.
God
Status bestowed upon Seeker who can drink their age in pints.
Goosing
See stoating.
Griping
Moaning.
Half
Terrible swear word.
Hank
(Rhym. Slang) Hungry - as in Hank Marvin = Starvin'.
Helmet
(1) Derogatory term used to greet a team mate who is perceived as being simple
or stupid (2) Manny Alcock (3) Piece of cricket equipment used to protect the
head.
Jolt
To masturbate.
Kabbadi
Word uttered after a fellow seeker has belched.
Lagerland
Atherstone Town.
Let's
rock
To commence an event.
Lightweight
(1) A person with a low capacity for ale, also (2) Manny Alcock, (3) Robert
Boal.
Loopy
juice
Particularly
strong beverage such as super-strength cider, Special Brew or Tennent's Super.
Magika
Tuft of unruly hair found at the crown that sticks up despite several efforts
to control it. Derived from the cartoon character Mr Magika.
Marrow
See Tater.
Moose
Girlfriend.
Mud
out
To defecate.
Munter
(1) A particularly ugly woman. (2) Girlfriend/wife/partner.
Nosebag
Food. Normally in reference to the food eaten after a session.
Nugget
A
on pound coin.
Ooh
'Ello
Phrase used when something is amiss.
Oscar
(Rhym. Slang) Mild as in Oscar Wilde.
Owdo
Shortened
form of "How do you do?".
Pat
Cash
Dash
(of lemonade in beer).
Peni
Idiot.
Pig
Iron
Loose change incorporative of coppers.
Pile
on
To jump on a fellow player en masse, just like in the school playground. Usually
performed on a Sunday or the occasional Second team fixture.
Pipe
down
Used
in trying to calm a situation or ordering somebody to shut up.
Pound
a corner
To bet with somebody for one pound, originally used in pool matches, now used
universally regardless of the number of corners in question.
Pulling
gear
(1)
Lynx deodorant (according to Wongy). (2) Tow rope.
Punishment
vessel
The alcoholic concoction forced upon a seeker who has been found to breach strict
Sessionseeking rules, in order to deter the guilty party from re-offending.
Quality
Good
Robbie
Fowler
Convoluted
Rhyming slang - Robbie Fowler = Howler = Monkey = Particularly ugly woman.
Rocket
Fuel
(Rhym. Slang) Smirnoff Mule.
Rubbish
Said with emphasis on the first letter to describe something particularly poor.
Scabby
hoss
What one can eat when particularly hungry - from the ancient Chinese.
Scant
Shortened form of scaramanger.
Scaramanger
An
attractive female or group of attractive females; totty.
Scooby
Doo
(Rhym. Slang) Brew XI.
Scoop
See Sup.
Scran
Food.
Scuttling
See Stoating.
Seek
To drink, quaff.
Seeker
Short for Sessionseeker.
"Seeking
Youth?"
Roughly translates as "Do you fancy a pint?".
Sessionseeker
A person who actively looks for a session of beverage, normally after the game,
but can be anytime.
Shandyman
(1) A player who has a penchant for shandy. (2) Nickname given to former player
Jonathan Hargreaves, who was reputedly only able to be served shandy at a beverage
establishment. (3) Manny Alcock.
Shed
(1) To stitch someone up in a game of cards. (2) Place where Alan Miller can
often be found masturbating.
Shenanigans
Branigan's bar in Atherstone.
Shohhhht-uh!
Chant used immediately after a batsman has hit a good shot. Can also be used
sarcastically when the batsman has not played a good shot.
Shooting
Acknowledgement of a seeker finishing a pint quicker than one would normally
expect.
Shrapnel
Loose change.
Skin
Accompanied
by a mutual slap of hands, skin is deemed worthy after a player has said something
clever or funny, or has ridiculed a fellow player to the amusement of team-mates.
Slime
Lime.
Smashing
set
A succulent pair of breasts.
Smellies
Deodorant, usually bought to games by one player and then distributed amongst
the team who use very unsparingly, often asking how to switch it off if it is
a spray can. Hilarious.
Snap
Food.
Spanner
50 pence piece.
Spat
dummy
To become mardy like a small child that has spat it's dummy out in a tantrum.
Spillage
Offence involving mismanagement of beverage retention within glass.
Spuffington
Rank horse from a previous Grand National, that tempted failed
gambler Loz Tarbuck into having two bets due to it's generous odds of
150-1.
Stoating
To be unable for selection due to having more pressing commitments of a sexual
nature.
Sup
To drink, quaff.
Sweats
The affectionate term for the White Lion in Atherstone (Sweetie's).
Task
Sarcastic term meaning something is very easy. Shortened form of "Well
that is a hard task to achieve" said in a deeply sarcastic voice - Batesism.
Tater
Similar
to Youth but only used when addressing an individual directly.
The
3Bs
From the ancient Chinese proverb, to enjoy a happy lifestyle one must partake
in the three Bs - betting, bonking and boozing and not necessarily in that order.
The
3Fs
Similar to The 3Bs only this time it is football, fodder and
froth.
The
Dagmar
Name attributed to Branigan's Bar in Atherstone, due to it's rather burnt nature.
The
Lager Line
Term used to describe the trail of beverage houses that lies ahead before a
session.
The
Lizard Pit
Affectionate name for the Three Tuns Inn, Atherstone.
Thrap
Verb as in to thrap yourself off. Task often performed by whilst supposedly
at work by Manny Alcock in lay-by's until his recent elevation to window-licker.
Tick
Tock
The White Bear, Atherstone (The Clock).
Tonk
(1) To punish bowling by scoring runs heavily and hitting the ball hard. (2)
Nickname attributed to former player Richard Boal due to his tendency to receive
the aforementioned punishment.
Tool
Imbecile.
Trap
3
The third and best sit down toilet in the cricket club.
Tug
To masturbate.
Udders
Breasts.
Ump
To
take offence and as a result become mardy.
Umpired-duh!
Congratulationary
gesture made to a fellow player after a stint of umpiring has concluded.
Unseated
(Rhym. Slang) Cider as in horse racing terminiology, Unseated Rider.
Vessel
Beer glass.
Want
Another sarcastic Batesism pertaining to something particularly undesirable.
Shortened form of "I really want that", said with deep sarcasm, naturally.
War
Pornography derived
from Joe Begley speak. So-called because when the pages of a pornographic magazine
are opened, the reader exclaims the word "War!".
Wet
Chef
The Wheatsheaf, Atherstone.
Window-licker
An idiot, moron, retard, clown.
You
want f***ing you w***er
Much revered words of praise bestowed upon the lady working in a Chinese takeaway
at one o'clock in the morning by one Justin Hadley after receiving what he perceived
to be a slightly undersized portion of chips.
Youth/Yorath
Colloquial term for a fellow man.