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Mat Jones Attacked by Giant Rabbit
 Atherstone's
be-chinned cricket player, lightweight, regular non-payer and hen, Mat
Jones, was recovering in hospital last night after being attacked by
a giant rabbit.
Whilst the incident was captured on camera, police are still unaware
as to the identity of the assailant. Rabbits at Atherstone Cricket Club
such as Steve Healey, Nick Maling and Manny Alcock were all questioned
but released without charge, except for Alcock who was had up for indecent
exposure, albeit only facial.
Tight-fisted "Chicken" Jones was said to be in shock as he
recovered in George Eliot Hospital today. As well as losing some feathers,
he sustained claw damage and a split rectum in the incident which police
are treating as suspicious. Club comedian Justin Hadley remarked that
the bunny was probably only trying to make some Easter Eggs.
Anyone with information on the attack can contact Atherstone Police
in Bedworth on 999.
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