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Geoff Farmer
 NAME:
Geoffrey Raymond Hercule Farmer
AGE: 46
WEIGHT: 12 stone
DRINKING WEIGHT: Middle
NICKNAMES: Willie Thorne, Mario, Poirot, Luigi, Portuguese
Manager, Mr. Guile
ROLE: Right handed dead-bat, Left arm spin bowler
JOB OUTSIDE CRICKET: Professional snooker player, Game boy star and
fictional detective.
GREATEST MOMENT IN CRICKET: Playing for Witherley against Atherstone
in 1999. I was being spanked around all over the shop by Tommy and
Tesco in their record
stand of 160. It was a pleasure to be on the receiving end of such tonk because
it was the greatest display of batting I have ever witnessed.
MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT IN CRICKET: I was running late for one match
last year and my car was being serviced. Against my better judgement
I decided to thumb
a lift but due to having a missing digit, I had no luck and consequently spent
three weeks waiting outside the Copper Kettle.
CLAIM TO FAME: Solved the Murder on the Orient Express, Guided Spanish
football side Alaves to their first UEFA Cup final, also Best-man at
Gary Lineker’s
wedding.
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