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Gareth "Ram-Man" Williams

NAME: Gareth Williams

AGE: 22 going on 12

ROLE: All-rounder, in fact you’d think that I was the only talented player in the club if you listened to my agent!

OH YEAH, WHO’S THAT THEN? Erm, me.

NICKNAMES: Ram-man, Robocop, Madonna.

HEIGHT: 5’3”

WEIGHT: 19st 3lbs

DRINKING WEIGHT: To be honest, I am a three pints of shandy and a can of Tizer merchant - I guess that equates to a flyweight.

OTHER SPORTING LINKS: My brother is a talented non-league football goalkeeper, I used to play rugby, but earn my money doing Jeff Probyn impersonations at rugby clubs around the country.

I DIDN’T THINK YOU WORKED: Well I do some bar work too, but I don’t declare it to the club as I can get away with paying the student rate.

SO YOU ARE A BIT TIGHT THEN? Not really, I’m just saving up so I can get my car repaired. I had an accident on route to an away match when I piled into the back of team-mate Vic Clements. I couldn’t stop in time as I had twice as much weight in my car as he did.

BUT THERE WAS ONLY YOU IN THE CAR AND VIC HAD TWO OTHER PLAYERS IN HIS: That’s twice as much weight in mine then.