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Atherstone Dig In On Sunday

On a day when their Sunday game was called off, five Atherstone seekers used the opportunity of having some spare time to dig a trench for an electric cable to be rigged up to their plush new score-box. Braving the elements, young seekers Alan Miller, Geraint Thomas and Tom Brockton joined sessionseeking greats Tommy Cooper and Chris Horton. The seventy foot long trench took the quintet ninety minutes to complete and then it wasn't really deep enough.

Grafter Tesco Horton got through the bulk of the work, breaking Cooper's spade in the process, before nicking some sandwiches and heading off to play croquet. Cooper himself assumed the role of foreman for the occasion, as he read pornography during hour long tea-breaks, stopping work only to avoid the possible threat of rain and to throw mud at Miller. Highly dedicated Welsh womble Thomas pulled himself away from his young family to come along and dig, and at one stage was thought to have broken sweat until it was discovered that he had three thick jumpers on. Miller didn't bring any tools but himself so he borrowed Tesco's Dad's fork for the day which he leaned upon superbly for an hour and a half. Meanwhile, cockney Brockton recovered from a rare night of drinking real beer and generally talked bollocks, before taking the rest of the week off with a "bad back".

The remaining seekers then had a net session and played a few games of cards before fraudulently filling in their time-sheets to suggest that they had spent 12 hours each digging a bit of grass up.