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Chris Horton

NAME: Christopher James Horton.

AGE: 26.

NICKNAMES: Tesco, Mr. Burns, Co-op, Noddy.

DRINKING WEIGHT: Super Heavy.

ROLE: Right handed batsman, wicket-keeper, specialist cover-fielder, fast bowler, spin bowler (leg spin or off), occasional medium pacer depending on wicket.

JOB OUTSIDE OF CRICKET: Model, film star, astronaut, fighter pilot, submarine commander and Chippendale.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT: Being unable to tour Pakistan this winter due to having to sit exams.

GREATEST FEAR: Being stalked by Mariah Carey again.

BIGGEST FAN: Probably Catherine Zeta Jones, who has gone to extraordinary lengths to bed me. How many other women would marry a Hollywood film star and bear his child just to make me jealous?

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF: I write Alan Hansen’s lines for him on Match of the Day, I taught Michael Schumacher how to drive back in 1986 when I was 11 and I once won a million pounds on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, but the episode wasn’t broadcast because I knew all the answers before the options came up and the producers felt that it wouldn’t make good television.