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BEGLEY REMANDED

ABOVE: Begley in his youth, yesterday

The world of Sessionseeking was plunged into shock last night when it was revealed that the semi-legendary Joe Begley was arrested and remanded in custody for his part in a harebrained one-man fraud operation that went horribly wrong.

Atherstonian Begley, arguably Manchester’s finest import since Eric Cantona, and once Portugal’s finest deport (and at no one point, import), was plying his trade as a purveyor of mid-range wares in the cleaning supplies market, normally on Tuesdays and Thursdays in Burnley.

However, in a typically madcap scheme he dreamt up, bowler Begley had planned to earn himself a quick £10,000. On Monday, dressed rather shabbily in a white overcoat clutching a spanner, set of jump leads and a copy of The Sport, he walked into the Longsight branch of William Hill excitedly asking for his winnings. With no betting slip, staff sent him on his way only to be met by Begley the following day in the office wishing to lay £10 on himself at odds of 1000-1 that he would invent time travel by close of business and that he would be in yesterday to collect his winnings and he would take a copy of the previous days newspaper as proof. It was at this point that the Police were alerted and Begley was later remanded in custody awaiting psychiatric reports.

This was not the first time the colourful Begley has dabbled with stupidity. In 1997 he spent two months contemplating what would happen if he dug a hole all the way through to Australia, would he fall out the other side or what?

Begley was unavailable for comment yesterday but his son, Will, 1, was overheard saying “You didn’t really think this one through did you Dad?”